I became obsessed with Elaine Benes during my Seinfeld binge over the last couple of months. A magnetic attraction lured us together, having the same name and all. I felt like I could uncover another version of Elaine I hadn’t known yet—yet known to many. I became stalk-ish; I screenshotted the outfits I’d replicate, studied her mannerisms and thought about ways I could part my hair like hers. I posed in front of my bedside mirror debating if those mini-framed reading glasses would fit my face the same. I imagined how I would do my makeup, and where I would dot those beauty marks near my mouth like hers.
Throughout my fixation, I read so many essays about Elaine being the early feminist model who paved the way for palpable female characters on TV. They argued that Elaine had set out to be just as lowbrow, sexually centered and selfish as her male cohorts, all while charring an unapologetically feminist attitude in a male-dominated cast. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but I’m tired of female characters constantly being boxed as the feminist educator while male characters don’t need to be socially conscious to be fan-favourites.
I don’t want feminist to be a personality trait anymore. I want female characters to make poor decisions and not be absolved from them because she fights for women’s rights on the side. I want women to get away with being dickheads.1
Let me be clear; it’s detrimental that there be pro-women discourse out there for an abundance of reasons (not listing the reasons as part of my stance). But wanting equal rights shouldn’t exclusively be fought by female characters on TV, let alone women in real life. And for men to say that feminism is a women’s battle is to reinforce the divide between a better and lesser gender—a problem they prevalently benefit from. So why is it that being a feminist finds itself as the default attribute for female characters when men should be the ones honing the practice?
This is not to discredit the work these essayists wrote about Elaine’s big step for TV, big step for women trope. It’s no secret that what we watch on TV has a tremendous influence on how we perceive our reality. Let’s not forget that it’s still a platform for stereotypes to bloom. Jerry Seinfeld rooted his entire comedic career on separating the interests of men and women.
“…women nest, and men hunt.” - Jerry Seinfeld on the gender roles of TV channel surfing. The Baby Shower (S2.E10.)
Many of Elaine’s most praised hallmarks contain some new-wave feminist assertions; the sponge-worthiness of a male partner, cutting ties with anti-abortionists and her aversion to motherhood. These traits go against the laws of nature for women who ought to be caring, nurturing, and docile. Yet, for someone who also kidnaps a dog to make it disappear, stops for candy before visiting her hospitalized boyfriend, and excuses herself from a funeral claiming she was speaking at a women’s rights conference, Elaine gets bail because of her progressive feminism that ultimately justifies her neuroticism. Men, on the other hand, don’t have to go out of their way to redeem themselves from their misconducts.
George furiously quits his job after being barred from using the executive’s toilet, lands a career-leading position at the Yankee’s HQ by conducting an opposite day, and winks his way from an irritated eye to a promotion. This is the same man who eats out of a trashcan, saves himself before women and children from a house fire, and gets caught staring at his boss’ teenage daughter’s cleavage only to defend that it was “within his field of vision.” Jerry dumps his date because of her odd eating habits, stalks a woman to her work just to get her number, and declares that “it’s not racist if I like them,” to describe his desire to date Asian women.
Men in the show are stereotypically incompetent and stupid. But conveying the stereotype that men are stupid does not liberate women from being shoved into lower schools of thought. For women, being stupid is irreparable and damaging, whereas, for men, it’s just a silly quirk.
Unlike Elaine, men on TV get to avoid discussing social issues and still remain a favourite despite their insensitive behaviour. The onus of being the leveler and the feminist philanthrope is, without fail, on part of the woman. She should be the one to work for her own equality, as per the silence of her male counterparts.
It’s hard to compare what was on TV over 20 years ago with what’s on today. There was no algorithm to feed you content based on your views. There was no way of knowing what would resonate with who, so it had to be a mixture of both: a sprinkle of feminist ideology and a load of misogynistic galore (for equality’s sake). Whatever stuck, stuck.
At the end of the day, we can’t separate women from its movement. As a woman, you need to be well-read on every single women’s issue there is out in the world, no matter its complexities and intersectionalities. We train to become encyclopedias to quickly and efficiently answer all questions that may come up. And if we refuse to teach, it’s our fault that we don’t want peace.
There definitely have been lots of changes for women in the world since then, but too many for the worst. Women in America are living in an era where they have fewer rights than their mothers did.
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I don’t know how to end this on a positive note!
Until next time,
Thanks.
To say that women should get away with being dirtbags is a loaded desire. There are many awful (white) women out there constantly fighting against bodily autonomy, BIPOC sovereignty, and access to basic human rights. Systemic misogyny prevents women from being perceived as anything close to equal to men. It’s time to stoop to men’s level of awfulness to get ahead. It is pessimist to say that we are doomed for the worst. TV may be our only hope at this point.